The Dozer: Life and Times

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Sophie, be my pal.

The kitty I spoke of earlier has been back on several occasions. I having a little bit of trouble with him. You see, he won’t be my friend. Actually, I’m not sure if the cat is a he- it won’t let me get a good look at his junk. For the purpose of this, however, I will refer to the cat as “he” .Anytime I try to pet him, he runs away under the deck. I’ve tried feeding him tuna fish, warm milk, puppy food, and Honey Nut Cheerios….all to no avail. He doesn’t even look at the shit. Who doesn’t like Honey Nut Cheerios?

I am not sure why this cat is so anti social. I just wanna be his pal- maybe even let him into my basement or something during the winter. Our relationship isn’t off to a very good start though. Hopefully tomorrow we get along better.

~The Dozer

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Time to get back on the wagon....or is it off the wagon?

Right now I am in the worst shape of my life. I lack the motivation for a sustained workout, and my cardiovascular fitness is truly in the shitter. I get tired doing the simplest of tasks such as walking up the stairs or doing a set in the gym.
More problems:
-Frequent shortage of breath
-Some sort of nerve problem in my left leg that is causing considerable pain and discomfort.
- A very uneasy bladder
- My hair is driving me nuts
- A shoulder that has been injured for over a year (as a result of the Collingwood homicide- some of you may remember)
- Frequent chafing and rash in my groin area.
- Corns on my toes.
- Frequent fatigue
- Heart fluttering

In short, my body is ready to fall apart. I know I need to take better care of myself, eat better, run and most importantly start stretching. Actually doing it is another idea all together.

~Soon to be hospitalized, The Dozer

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Anal With a Gas Pump

I was reading the 2005 Time Almanac, and I came across some interesting information. There was a table of the “Top World Oil Producers, Exporters, Consumers, and Importers, 2003”. Canada was number 8 on the oil producers list with 3.11 million of barrels per day. They were also number 8 on the consumers list with a total oil consumption of 2.2 million barrels per day. These facts don’t seem to make sense to me. How is it that WE produce more oil then we need, yet gas prices keep going up? How does Hurricane Katrina affect OUR gas prices, when we seemingly produce enough oil to remain self sufficient? I sure wish I had the answer to that question.

These fucking crooks need to be investigated. They make us all believe there is some huge shortage of oil. Not True. They make us believe that oil will run out sometime soon. Again not true. And in the end, our government stands by idle yet again while we get fucked right in the ass with a gas pump.

~The Dozer

Saturday, October 15, 2005

American Justice and the Pursuit of Silence through tyranny

I have a traffic meter on my page that basically tells me all about every person that logs onto my page. It gives me basic information such as their IP address, and other information about where they are surfing from, their ISP, their OS,etc. Yesterday, I logged into my tracker page and saw the following:
Domain Name ? (Military)
IP Address 138.145.211.# (NCTS WASHINGTON (N91))
Continent : North America
Country : United States (Facts)
State : District of Columbia
City : Washington Navy Yard
Lat/Long : 38.8555, -77.0022 (Map)

The US military is surfing my page? How flattering! The question begs asking: why would a person with a Navy ISP be interested in surfing my page? Although my views are night and day with their current administration, I really haven’t said anything to critical. And I am, after all, just a small little blog with a small following.

Given the current administration’s penchant for trampling on free speech (2, 3, 4, 5, 6),anything is possible.

~The Dozer

Friday, October 14, 2005

Pandemic! Celebration! Bitches!

Pandemic! Epidemic! Run get your vaccine! Bird Flu! Yet another flue season, and yet another call for vaccines.

The whole “bird flu” doesn’t scare me. I figure if I stay away from having sex with birds, and I cook my chicken, I’ll be alright. No need for vaccine. Something tells me the whole vaccine business is exactly that- a business. I can’t see the flu killing a perfectly health human like myself. In fact, bring on the flu. I want the flu. I think I even want the bird flu. Just to prove I can beat that shit.

Consider this: the last “pandemic” was the Spanish flu way back in 1918. It killed a paltry 50 million people worldwide- 50,000 in Canada. To date there has been well under 100 cases of bird flu worldwide. Hardly enough to get me off the internet and into the doctors’ office to get a needle in my arm.

All this seems to be classic fear mongering- mostly by the American government/ media (notice they are one and the same). A quick glance around random periodicals from around the globe tells me the rest of the world is not as concerned about this as us Westerners.

I love the little stickers they put on gas pumps telling you that gas stations only profit 3% per litre sold. Fucking bullshit. What sane individual would get into a business with the profit margin so low? You’re telling me that Abdah who owns the Petro-Can down the road profits about $1.50 when I fill up my car? He would have to fill up an awful lot of cars to make a living.

There is no doubt the bulk of oil profits are made by big business somewhere along the line in the refining process, but I think the retailers are understating their end of the profit.  

I was at a gas station 2 weekends ago and was surprised to see 19” LCD monitors on every pump spewing advertising. This station also had a nice new fancy sign with a digital gas price display.  Obviously, there is abit of synergy involved with owning a gas station and a convenience store together, and advertising $.69 chocolate bars on a 19’ LCD would help you recoup some of the loses on the initial investment, but this is ridiculous. Don’t cry 3% profit to justify your gas hikes then outfit your pumps with thousands of dollars worth of needless electronics.

~The “What Would You Say” Dozer  

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Shut your kid up. (Please)

What I’m listening to right now: “#41” – Dave Matthews Band/ Bela Fleck & The Flecktones: April 20, 2002  

I really can’t stand children anymore. Any age. I don’t care for the attitude problems that mar the adolescent through teenage years. Nor can I stand the really small kids. The crying and especially the screaming drive me into a frenzy. I don’t think it’s cute when your 2 year old pick his/her nose- and I hate having to force a fake smile when the child does so.

The worst part happens to be the fact that children adore me. They tend to gravitate towards me or stare at me with open mouths. I’m perfectly fine with kids just so long as they act like a human. When they refuse to act human-like, that’s when we have a problem.

I can’t stand when I’m in a store and a kid is constantly calling for their mother: “MOM LOOK!! MOM LOOK!! MOM LOOK!!” The mother refuses to pay attention thus allowing their child to continue yelling: “MOM LOOK…MOM LOOK”…… I lose it. STOP PUTTING SO MUCH EFFORT IN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHICH SPAGATII SAUCE YOU’RE GONNA BUY AND PARENT YOUR GOD DAMN ANIMAL! The parents that ignore their child to the point where they scream at the top of their lungs pisses me off so much it isn’t funny. Oh well- what can ya do?

What I’m listening to now: “If I Had a Boat”: Dave Matthews/ Tim Reynolds- Jan 26, 1999

I saw a great sign yesterday on my way into Brampton to visit the “Mandarin” buffet. (As a side note, Brampton is the most horrible place in the world) I only wish I had my diggycam to capture it. The sign was at a U-Haul store, and this is what it said: “30 Days Free Storage for Hurricane Katrina Victims”. HAHAHA! I’d love to see the stats on the people that were displaced due to the hurricane and moved to shitty Brampton. Not only did they move there, they brought SO much stuff, they needed a U-Haul storage facility. Fucking bullshit that U-Haul is using this hurricane as a marketing ploy. “Look at us- we’re good guys”. Fuck you U-Haul. When I was moving a few months back, I stole a bunch of moving blankets from them. Good! I feel much better about myself now.

What I’m listening to now: “Rocket Man” – Elton John


Saturday, October 01, 2005

She's a superfreak!

What I’m listening to right now: “A Long December”- Counting Crows

I really hate my nose.  I don’t tell many people this, but I haven’t smelled a thing in about 4 months. I smell the odd strong scent- like when I walk through the perfume isle at The Bay, or when Robbie farts, but other than that I smell nothing. Nothing. Pam’s fresh baked cookies? Nope. My parent’s filthy puppy? Nope. Sometimes I get a certain whiff of something that I can recall smelling at one point in my life. That’s always fun.

I was supposed to have this checked out by an “ears, nose, mouth” doctor awhile back, but I missed the appointment. I’m too embarrassed to call my Dr. back to get this rescheduled cause I don’t want to break it to him that I missed the first appointment.

So what do I do? Well for starters, I blow my nose an awful lot. So much so that I don’t even use Kleenex- Too expensive. I use toilet paper (about half a roll a day). I also have used a handful of over the counter products in my day, all with varying degrees of success. These are, however, temporary fixes.

What I’m listing to now: “Everybody Hurts”- REM

I was stumbling around on the internet, and I came across this article. I’m not to sure how reliable the “Times of India” happens to be, but I guess 150 million people are going to die. I love how the article is in a brief format. 150 million people going to die: put it in the World Briefs Section. Pakistan cricket coverage: give it it’s own section. Nice paper you got there.


What I’m listening to now: “So Much To Say” > “Superfreak” > “Too Much” : Dave Matthews Band (live)