The Dozer: Life and Times

Friday, September 30, 2005

One-4-Three Cruises!

What I’m listening to right now: “All I Want Is You”- U2

Have you caught the latest of the hurricane coverage? I know I always say I’m gonna stop harping on this, but the story keeps getting better. If ever there was a story that highlighted The Unites States’ inability to coordinate and their fiscal irresponsibility, this is it.

Anyway, FEMA- the Federal Emergency Management Agency has contracted Carnival Cruise lines to house displaced New Orleans residents for 6 months at a cost of $236 MILLION. Hard to fathom actually. If you do the math, assuming 3 ships are at capacity, it works out to almost $1300USD per person, per week. Most expensive cruise that doesn’t cruise of all time. Not only did the US Gov’t appear to get screwed on this deal, they appear to be getting screwed by a company that has been screwing them! You see, Carnival is incorporated for tax purposes in Panama. They paid $3 million in income tax benefits on $1.9 billion in pretax income last year according to the Washington Post. Horseshit. But would you expect more out of FEMA? After all, they did hire that leadership- less sack of shit Michael Brown without even checking out his resume.

Reason number 8966234 why the Death Penalty is a worthless piece of shit, I read on CNN that some poor guy who spent close to 20 years in prison has been deemed innocent. If you believe in Capital Punishment, you’re fucking crazy. The justice system is far from perfect; the sentences should be far from absolute. Aside from that simple point, it cost too much, and it’s NOT a deterrent. I digress. Pro Death Penalty always think they win this argument by saying “What if it was your Mother/ Brother/Sister, Father/ person you love that was killed? Wouldn’t you want them put to death?” No, Mr. Pro State Murder Lover. I would not.

What I’m listening to now: “Bad”- U2. (One of the greatest songs ever)

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Beside a gas pipe is no place for a kitty!

Although this blog’s title is “Dozer: Life and Times”, it seems that I have gotten away from the “Life and Times” aspect, and instead focused solely on political commentary (I've had a slight interest in politics ever since the infamous Bush Sr. “Read my lips…” speech. Well for now, just this once, I will return to the “Life and Times” format.

I have a new kitty. Well, kinda. You see, this local stray kitty (he might actually be my neighbors- I’m not sure) has been showing up on my front porch. He rolls himself up like a ball over by the natural gas meter and gives me dirty looks whenever the front door opens. It’s as if he wants to say “Shut the fuck up! I’m trying to sleep”. He can’t speak, however, as he is only a cat.

Hurricane Andy hit Orangeville last night. It was Orangeville’s first storm of the Hurricane season. No real damage to report: my neighbor’s lawn chair was blown over and some trim from the top of my garage was torn. Looks like a weekend project for me. Luckily, the Charlie Brown tree in the front yard remained intact. Apparently I was the only Orangeville resident not to be awaken by the high winds. I slept like a baby. At this point, it would take a nuclear attack to wake me up. I’m that tired.

I’m not sure how many people read this blog, or how many people read it on a regular basis, but you really have to click on the hyperlinks. They contain stuff that ensures I am not lying, and oftentimes contain information that adds to the comedic value of the story. All in all I am finding this blog to be a fun tool for me. I post headache free, and once I take the time to figure out how to put up pictures, I’ll be laughing. The one thing that has been pissing me off, however, are the “people” that post comments in my guestbook and leave a link to some “get-rich-quick scheme” website. I have this creeping suspicion that these are not really blog readers, but rather some form of blog guestbook spammers. Anyway, I’m thinking of disabling the entire guestbook function because of it.

I think its time to retire for the evening.


Wednesday, September 28, 2005

The Great Divide

I found a great article on the web. The whole thing really doesn’t make sense to me though. Let me get this straight: The First Nations want to be connected to the internet so that they can receive a physician diagnosis via the web. The annual cost is $35,000 per community, per year. I’m not sure who their ISP will be, but 35K seems a bit steep. And what ever happened to this guy?

As a taxpayer, I don’t think I’m comfortable anymore subsidizing people based solely on their heritage or race. It’s just wrong. If we continue to pay the Natives because of “our” wrongdoing, I say lets open the floodgates and set up special programs for EVERY race or culture that we, as Canadians, have diminished. Forget trying to co-exist as one- lets widen the divide!


Friday, September 23, 2005


I’m really sick of this whole hurricane thing. Do I really need constant updates on Rita? I hate the fact that they are even refereed to by name. And the whole category thing. Is this necessary? Or are these ratings just part of the United States’ fear mongering process? CNN loves this shit. I don’t think I ever remember a time when the every twist and turn of every storm was followed quite as close as this. The thing that pisses me off about CNN is that instead of reporting countless “feel good” stories and other lame observations, they should be focusing on the inept actions of the United States (all 3 levels of government) preceeding, during and following the Attack. I mean the storm. But do they? Hell no.

Did you catch the President Bush speech on “the war on terror” and the hurricanes? This line was priceless:

See, they don't care who they kill; they just kill. They kill innocent people. They kill women. They kill children. They kill election workers.

Election workers? Are you serious?

And they've had a history of this before. They've had a history of escalating their attacks before Iraq's major political milestones, like the handover of sovereignty in 2004, the free elections this past January, and the drafting of the constitution over the summer.

A history? Three attacks taking place in 2004, January and this summer constitutes “a history”. I guess I have a history of paying $109.4 for gas.


Monday, September 19, 2005

$tarwar$ and Money

While the United States are busy holding telethons, benefits and asking for donations at every turn (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, - these are just a few) its comes as a bit of a surprise that “President Bush's "vision for space exploration."” is coming to fruition courtesy a hefty donation from the government totaling $104 Billion. That’s billion. I understand it’s really important to get a person on the moon for the 13th time, but could they have, perhaps, dropped that budget by a $1Billion, and spared everyone from having to listen to lame celebrities try to wrangle money out of citizens from around the world? Is space exploration really that important anymore? I can’t imagine it being so.

Did you know the last astronaut to walk on the moon was Harrison Schmidt way back in 1972? 1972! I was under the impression that people basically lived up there.

How do all these countries feel about making donations of aid in light of the NASA budget announcement? I’m sure NASA is heavily involved in the Star Wars defense that not too many countries support. Just another example of the US government spending money where money maybe shouldn’t be spent.


Monday, September 12, 2005

Fuzzy Math

This figure they keep talking about ($300B) to rebuild the United States following Hurricane Katrina truly is staggering. Even the costliest hurricanes in US history adjusted for inflation, rarely reach the $10B level. So why is this one so expensive? It seems the flood of New Orleans, which pretty must destroyed the entire city, is accounting for most of the damage. Therein lays the problem. You see, repairs and improvements that should have been made to the levies were cutback and under funded for years. What’s more, it seems some of the funds were diverted to fight the war in Iraq. I love that logic. Ignore your own people to “liberate” the Iraq people. (That’s what the war was about right?).

The whole story even gets better when you consider the fact that the writing was on the wall for this. Take note when that article was written. 4 years before the storm. Shame on the US government. Save $100M or so on levy improvements only to have to shell out $300B for a rebuild? Not to mention lose thousands of lives? Good work.

~The Dozer

Sunday, September 11, 2005

We can be Hero's

It’s September 11th and nobody seems to care. I've always fancied myself as some sort of “anti-emotional” guy, but truthfully, the terrorist attacks of 9-11 have always bothered me abit. Okalahoma city building didn’t bother me. Various plan crashes don’t bother me. Princess Di or JFK Jr. dying didn’t bother me. SARS didn’t bother me. Train derailments killing 250 don’t bother me. 9-11 did. Now it just seems everyone has forgotten some 4 short years later. I haven’t seen any specials on TV or even coverage on Usually CNN is all over this shit. I guess with this hurricane and all, nobody gives a shit.

Is it just me, or is David Bowie the creepiest mother effer on the planet? I saw him on one of those wonderful telethons and he really gives me the creeps.

~The Dozer

Thursday, September 08, 2005


I hate when my internet is down. It makes me wanna kill myself. Usually, I’m on the ‘net for a purpose, and downtime courtesy Rogers Telecommunications really puts a damper on my plans. Today, for instance, I decided to come on the internet and look to purchase something to control the Algae in my pond (a story in its own regard). Guess what? INTERNET DOWN.  This is unacceptable. Two weekends ago, I was in a tense bidding war for an item on eBay. Down to the last few hours, the internet went down. With people coming over, I shifted my focus to Cable television (which I watch very little of). All set to watch my beloved Cowboys, the digital cable was out as well. Good work Rogers. Ruin my whole fucking night. Strike that- ruin my whole weekend!

As I write this, I am on hold with Rogers. It’s been 13 minutes (and counting). All I want to know is if this is a problem with my computer, or a problem on their end. Luckily, their bullshit “on hold” music (I think its Vanessa Carlton) is being drown out by U2 (“Out of Control”- which remains one of my favorite U2 tracks). Given the length of time on hold, I’m assuming that this must be a problem on their end in which case they should just put up a pre-recorded message to let me know.

Its been 17 minutes and counting. Way too far in this call to hang up. I’ve hit the proverbial point of no return. I just wanna talk to someone other than my Microsoft Word. I just wanna buy algae killer. I just wanna check my email. I just wanna surf the net. I just wanna end world hunger. Just joking- that’s silly. Let’s be realistic- I just want internet. Considering what I’ve been through in the past 20m 47s, ending hunger might be more realistic.

~The Dozer

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Post 2

When disaster strikes, I love reading about all the opportunistic celebrities that come to the aid of the poor, sick, and out of luck with their generous donations of money, and in some cases time. This particular donation, however, really makes me laugh: Tennis star Serena Williams announced she is donating $100 for every ace she hits for the remainder of the season. Wow. Very generous. At least she even knows there was a disaster. Sister Venus was apparently unaware as she is much to self absorbed to care about something so petty. Those two make me sick to my stomach.

My Weekend  

Being the last long weekend of the summer, it was defiantly go time. I went over to Robbies house on Friday, and drank roughly 13 ounces of my patented Gibson’s Finest Rye in my famous cleaned out spaghetti sauce bottle. The lack of sleep throughout the week, coupled with my extreme hunger,  led me to shut’er down at the bar- I only had 1 drink. Usually on a Friday like that, 8 to 16 drinks would have been in store.
     After the bar, we (thankfully) went over to Toppers Pizza, and I had a personal pan “Canadian” pizza, which I have been referring to incorrectly as “Canadiania.  During the pizza eating, we found a cell phone, which usually doesn’t bode well for the cell phone’s owner, but luckily for him (or her) he (or she) was out of minutes.

This Saturday was the 17th annual Washerboard Tournament of the World. Well, not really the world (and not really the 17th annual),  but rather an excuse for us all to get drunk and do something. A blast was had by all, and “Team Dozer” consisting of Kerri and myself made it to the semi finals. I don’t even know who won.

At the party/BBQ Mike “OD” O’Donnell wondered how history might have been altered if certain people had different names:

-Braydon Hitler
- Sheldon Mussolini
- Shawn Castro
- Eric Bin Laden

You get the idea. No way a guy named Braydon kills 6 million Jews. No way.

That’s about all I did this weekend. Acyually come to think of it, I stole from the Gas station. $1.28/L. That’s what I call a deal. Suckers.

~The Dozer


Sunday, September 04, 2005

Day One

I’m back at it. For all of you that remember me from my days as head writer and webmaster over at “Dozers Creek”, I’ve decided to fire up a new web page. This time, however, I’m going with a “blog” format. I’m not to sure what this particular blog service is like, and truthfully, I might even jump ship to another one if this gives me headaches. “Blogger” is brought to you by the fine folks at Google , so it can’t be all that bad.

For those of you that don’t know, I love Google. It’s my home page. It’s my spell checker. It’s my research assistant. If I need to know what day the Americans dropped the “Little Boy” on team Japan, Google tells me. Or they tell me where to find it. Google kicks that ass off that mean Liberian you’ve no doubt encountered you’re entire life.

Google even has this awesome feature that allows you to look at satellite images of anywhere in the world. It even lets you zoom right in! Fun stuff! We all know Gmail kicks ass too.

Anyway, all this is beside the point. I’m just hoping that Google has a winner here in Blogger that allows me to easily post my thoughts, photos, and sickness. I also hope I don’t get board with this site, as I do all the others.